I can still feel the snap of my arm being jerked outward in my attempt to flee his wrath;
I raised my right arm to shield myself from the blow;
Catching my arm in midair he assured me that everything was ok;
He was not angry;
I came from under a my ball of defense and relaxed my strained muscles only to catch the full blow of his furry;
My head jerked back and hit the stone fireplace;
The shock of the beating numbed the pain;
It wasn't until he said he was sorry that my bones began to ache;
During the hours we had company in my dorm apartment he would make a point to show how obedient I was;
He fed upon his desire to create fear in the hearts of his followers;
He was short in stature but, he was grizzly;
Days drifted into weeks;
He worked the dark streets of Los Angeles;
He smelt of trash, when he returned, still he held a hubris fortitude;
Happy to see that he had retained ownership, of my person and loyalty’s,
He would dare others to look at me;
If he caught site of such betrayal and possible lust after what he proclaimed to own;
He would beat the man senseless then pull a knife to my throat;
The same question was always asked;
“Do you think I should kill him?”
I would suggest that he be exiled from the group, a small act of courage to protect him from this demons wrath;
God knows my time was near;
I too, had plans of making an escape;
He didn't take so kindly of my suggestion;
He figured I was looking to save my undercover lover;
He gave him a small window to either jump from or be thrown out of;
He jumped;
The second floor was high enough to break a few bones if willfully fleeting,
However to be thrown could end a life intentionally;
To jump was best;
Unfortunately, my hour of terror had just begun;
He continued his speech to his fellow constituents that cringed with fear but dare not shut their eyes to visual presentations;
As their eyes watered afraid to blink the tears threatened to cause attention to possible weakness;
He trailed the knife from under my eye down the outline of my face;
The men took the chance to wipe their mugs and adjust their game countenance;
I was stiff as a board and late answering his repeated question. "Are you afraid of me?"
No,
The answer he so loved to hear;
If I were scared I wouldn't give him the satisfaction in knowing;
I fought back tears as he forced the point of the knife into my cheek;
"Good!" He teased;
Flashing his silver pointed medal around;
“Because to kill you would then be justified”;
He grinned, as he leaned in to kiss my trembling lips;
I never understood how killing someone would unless in self-defense; be justified
My plan;
However, I believe that his meaning to justification was in reference to his conscience;
I questioned the existence of good beneath his rotting skin;
I cringed at the thought of unveiling the maggots penetrating his heart;
My eyes lowered and shifted view to his followers;
I begged for their mercy;
I winked at those that had fallen for my sly temptress seduction;
For the life of me I couldn't understand why none of them had taken the opportunity to win back their freedom;
I’d given plenty of time and opportunity;
Motive floated in the air like a cloud of smoke from an uncontained fire;
Desire caused sweat to bead upon their brows and wet their palms.
“Cowards I screamed,” from my delirious mind;
My arms and legs were kicking and flinging as hard and fast as they could in my mind;
I burned them with my stares;
Some looked away;
Others dare not show signs of emotion or disagreement to his performance,
For fear they too would be asked to leave;
Departure without being formally excused as a group could be fatal;
If I had the chance I pull the gun from hips of one of these sensitive assholes and kill him myself;
Mere boys claiming to be men holstering guns;
They are afraid to use,
But jump up and down in an attempt to prove themselves to another man;
A man with who is just as afraid as they are;
Under his wrath,
The lot of us;
Under lock and key…
©2011 Author Aija M . Butler
Under Lock and Key
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