Sample Chapter From My Nemesis, Towards the light

Joy stepped into her bathroom and starred into the dark. Her first thought was to call on God. She wanted him to show himself and explain his actions. She couldn't she how they were justified. She walked slowly to the tubs edge and looked into the deep oval ceramic surface and sat on its edge.
The room seemed to expand as if the walls were no longer there. All she could see was a bright light, that appeared from just beyond the tub. A calming glow that moved her to sway softly, as the luminosity calmed her soul. Tuning into her consciousness she turned on the water to the tub. The golden handles with pearl tips seemed to reflect small sparkles of gold onto the water, as it filled the bathtub. The room was well lit by the golden highlights. Joy watched the waters flow as if hypnotized by the clear crystals falling from its spout.
As the water surfaced towards the tubs edge, she could visibly see the steam hovering over its top. She could feel the soft warmth of the clouded steam, and in it she calmed her weeping heart. She felt a great sense of peace.
Though the chill of the bathroom flowed from her feet against the tile floor, she was warmed by the presence of something or someone. Curious with the urge to feel the closeness of her husbands spirit, she called out to him. Joy prayed that her lack paranormal belief would not hinder her possibility of experience. She quieted her self and looked into the empty space filled with light and steam from her hot bath. In it he stood quietly. She was fearful at first, at this presumed presence of someone that had passed on. She nearly fell from the tub. She would have easily hit her head and knocked unconscious.
Joy held on to her chest frightfully aware of her close walk with death and inhaled slowly. Grabbing on the flesh of her chest she grabbed both the garment of her oversized shirt, and the thin tissue between her breast purposely to test her conscious awareness. Pain was definite and her eyes were focused even in the dark of the night. Slowly releasing her shirt, she placed her hands toward the illuminating light in an attempt to touch just the hem of his garment. Unable to feel the cloth she retreated and shook her head solemnly, then violently, as she realized her disbelief caused her to loose touch.
Just in that moment the peace that had culminated her mind, body, and spirit dissipated. She was tired and worn. Her back slumped over and depression quickly settled. Moving from the tubs edge she turned her back towards the door and the light was gone. She slowly crumbled to the floor and fell into a tantrum of unexplained volatile convulsions, as she cried for mercy and understanding.
“Dear God, Why has Thou Forsaken me. Why must I stay to die alone in the hellish ways of this world.? What am I do to do with this life, now that all that I have loved and cherished has perished?”
“You live..”
Joy peered from between the small cracks in her hands. Slowly she uncovered her face. She could have sworn to have heard Jakes voice, but nothing was there.
“Hello!” she called out. Making sure that her mind was in fact playing tricks on her. She was even fearful that the voice would again answer her. She too thought that she may be loosing her sanity. Things that were happening were not of this world. She couldn't explain her thoughts or actions. Her mind raced and the outbreaks of sudden amnesia puzzled not only her, but her family.
“I'm here,” the voice interrupted.
Joys this time she was afraid to speak aloud. “What do you want?” she asked as if she wanted to know the answer.
“I want you to live,” was his only response.
Joys eyes widened with surprise but the voices request only seemed to add fuel to the fire burning within Joys chest. She was angry. She wanted an explanation.
“What for?” she screamed.
“What for…?” Again she called at the empty space just beyond her tub and demand an answer. “How dare you leave?” she yelled begging for his return.
Still, the water drifted amongst the soft winds, that crept in from the bathroom window. Soft drips of water hit the pool before her, but nothing more. Not even a whisper of apology and farewell came from the golden light, that had lit her bathroom just moments before.
Joys mind seemed to burst her brain was scrambled. She had bits and pieces of reality playing in her mind. She wasn't delusional as she was before. She was psychotic. She screamed at the top of her lungs beckoning Leleil to show her face.
She tore down the towel rack and slammed her fists on the sink, and jolted open the medicine cabinet in search for relief. When she couldn't find the pills she stopped suddenly as if her breakdown were calming and just starred down into the drain of the sink, The small metal circle lit up brightly and reflected a small razor that had fallen from the shelf of the medicine cabinet. In that moment Joy felt relief. She felt as her answer had arrived. That if only she could die, she could live passing on the horrors of this life to be resurrected anew. Born into a new place and time a chance to start over.
Joy slumped over the sinks edge as if her head and shoulders were too heavy to bear. Her thoughts swarmed in circles.
“What are you waiting for? Here is your chance to be one again with your husband children. They have gone to a much better place. You can go along with them.”
“Why are you here? You have done nothing, but make me out to be a bad person. You tiptoe around in your make-up and perfectly curled hair, ordering me around. I have no control over my thoughts and feelings. My husband said otherwise to what you are suggesting.” Joy could feel her hands warming as her hand glided towards the sink. She retrieved the blade from the bottom of the ivory marble and white surface and starred at her reflection. Her skin warmed as if the blood were coming to a boil, and excited to spill from her flesh.
“I dare you to do something for yourself.” I dare you to end these feelings of loneness and pain. So, how long has it been?”

“What do you mean?”
“How long has it been, since you have done something good for yourself, been selfish, spent lavishly on something you didn't necessarily need but desired?”

“I don't know. Why does this even matter? I don't have any desires anymore. The only thing I want is, to find my family. If that isn't up for grabs, then I’d just as well, spend the rest of my days rotting away.”
“It isn't fair you know.”

“What do you mean?”
“You suffering so much. First you get sick at a young age then you miraculously survive only to be hit with another disease, after you start your family and career. I bet if you had spent less time caring for others you would be way ahead of your game. You know its your fault you lost them. You didn't have to send them off. You sure as hell didn't need to borrow money from that scum bag ex-boyfriend of yours. You are no better than a drug addict trading your daughter for money like that.”
“What? how dare you? It wasn't like that at all. I needed the money to find a cure. I wasn't ready to leave my family. I wanted to do whatever, was in my power to beat this disease. I couldn't let my family see me in such a vulnerable state. I needed to know that they were ok. That if my treatment didn't work out they wouldn't become filled with depression and loss of hope. Jake would have been fixated on healing me. I don't expect you to understand. It is obvious that you do not care about anyone.”

“I care about you. I know that you have been stuck in this rut for far to long. I am hear to put a stop to this madness. Your family died Joy. They died tragically in a storm. A tornado touched ground without warning and claimed the lives of over 1500 people. You and those other families suffered a horrible loss. I am here because you brought me here. I am the one that has the power to heal you, of the disease you have had all of your life. Need. The need to be liked loved and accepted. The need to be successful and looked up to. The need to please others at any cost. All that is over my friend. You may not like my methods, but they work. All talk and no action is meaningless. You have been saying that you don't care your entire adult life, but yet and still you run as soon as they call anytime of day or night. Vengeance is in the air.”
“Vengeance. What… or who rather am I, Avenging? If the is all destined to happen in order for me to live up to my true potential then the war is over ?”
“No Joy it has just begun. If you bothered to shut up for just a few moments at a time, you would be able to see how the individuals you call family and friends take advantage of your kindness and generosity. Has it ever occurred to you that if you weren't so busy paying off the debts of others you wouldn't have had to borrow the money from Jacob anyhow. Or did that small issue blow over your senses. I do believe you are lost in your own mind. Your defenses are down because you do not know how to defend yourself. Due in part because you don't know who to defend yourself from. I bet apart of you is thinking that I am the enemy. That I need to be dealt with, that possibly I am a figment of your imagination and that I in fact do not exist. Well look in the mirror touch the contours of your face. Tell me what you see.”
“ Please just go away. I don't need any help taking care of my home or personal affairs. All I need is for everyone to simply leave me be. All of you keep volunteering your two cents in regards to my conscious ability to think and make healthy rational decisions. Well what if this one time in my life I don't want to be careful. I don't care about the outcome.”
“Then I’d have to say that you are continuing to lie to yourself.” Which isn’t going to do either of us any good. Humor me for about two minutes.
Look at yourself. You need me. I am the one that can handle the harsh realities of this world.”
“You can't be serious.”

“Oh really why not? Don't you think its time you were held responsible for some of the drama you have caused over the years? I mean look at you. You have managed to start an enormous amount of shit, and here you are standing around weeping as if you are the victim. I find this whole act quite humorous. Being that I know you far more than I’d like to admit. You know now that I think about it, I can't seem to remember a time in your adult life that you took responsibility for you personal wrong doings. Sure you offer to take the heat for others often just so you will be sought as the good Samaritan. I mean really. When have you just you were held accountable for your own selfish deeds? Isn't what all these personal meetings in the bathroom about. Your personal counseling sessions. Tears of remorse and confession. Is this in fact a confession when we are the only ears that hear what we already know. Or are you suggesting that your frequent visits to the restroom are spent in counsel with God? Are you talking over your sins with Jesus himself?”

“I am not a shamed of who I am. You are merely a figment of my imagination. The evil side to my conscience. I know how to shun away from your advances. The good in me will prevail. I know who you are and why you have come. Only I won't let you take over my soul no matter how unfair I feel my world of circumstance to be. I do use this time to conference with God. Instead lately I am confronted by you, my ill thoughts of envy and hate. My insecurities about life and my ability to succeed. I used to think the my reflection in the mirror was a force to be reckoned with. I could be lost in translation, admiring the beautiful characteristics of my face. A face that at one time I hated and had to share. Now I won't use this hate I have for others that may be doing better than I to continue to hate myself. I even hated the good my siblings admired because I was responsible, people would start to depend on me. You think I signed up for this role. It was birthed unto me. I tried out for other roles but I landed this one. You don't like me because I don't do as others to get to where I need to go. I create my own venue and plan of action. So when are you going to get the picture that you are no longer needed?”

“When you show me independence. I see you glaring at me in passing. You purposely leave the door open to make sure you can peak and see that I have not left you. Your fear of abandonment has always left you vulnerable and susceptible to abuse. You are nothing but bait for those out for themselves, which is damn near every being on this earth. I think that if we could just be honest about your neediness things would go a lot smoother.”

“Really well maybe we can touch on that another time. I am going to have lunch with Sam.”

“Oh yea good luck with that. She is another main problem, Joy. When are you going to cut the cord already? What! I bet she is having issues with Charles. She wants you to mediate between the issues. Why with your psyche degree you are sure to have all the right answers. Why I bet you won't be able to get a word in edge wise with all the sniffling and harping on Sam. What about you? The two of you already have to share the damn face. No wonder Charles is confused. I mean the only difference between you and Sam is that Sam has the balls to say no. You on the other hand scurry like a cat from water, when faced with confrontation. That's why I'm here Joy. You can cry now. After all that's what you're best at. You cry while others get even.”

“SHUT UP!” Joy yelled. She threw her hands up grabbing two handfuls of her curly mane and began to pull furiously. Joy was desperately trying to shake Leliel from her being. Andras was present and with the good and bad their could only be evil. She was confused. The only way out seemed to be death. The pills were causing her psychotic breaks to become more frequent. In fact they were giving birth to more of her untamed personalities. Joy now physically fighting with her deranged mind was clawing at the skin on her face, yelling into her reflection in the mirror. Andras starred back at her shaking her head. Her arms were folded and she wore a smug grin on her bright red painted lips.
“You are a crazed individual.” Joy ignored her evil twins comments and appeared to be aroused by the warm blood flowing from her pores. She balled fist, squeezing her hands tightly to watch the blood ooze from the cracks of her fingers.
　
　
　All rights reserved, copyright 2010, Aija M. Butler

"I Get it How I Live!"

There were this saying a few of the girls would chant from time to time in my girls program. Some of them would be arguing about God knows what, and one of the comebacks to the others character belittling was, “I get it how I live.” She would be hopping up and down rolling her head , all while rolling her hair into a neat bun. Only to have it pulled out by the roots.

I was so puzzled at the statement that during one of our sessions, I decided to gain some insight on the matter. The girls were all excited to share their stories about the nature in which this particular phrase rang true individually.

However, once I started to hear the stories behind the truth of this so called badge of honor, I refused to listen to anymore of the bad girl chronicles. I needed desperately to set the record straight.

A way of life is proclaimed to be the definition of the phrase, “I Get it How I live.” So what do we do, to obtain these things? When I invited the boys to join our discussion, the girls were amazed at the concepts the young men had about the statement. The boy’s brought light to the situation. While the ladies prized their understanding of the slang term. The boys demeaning views were not only disrespectful but graphic in nature, which opened the eyes of many.

As we all know in this society we are not all created equal. No matter the change in season or turn of the century women and men are from two different worlds and praised for different things. The boys were rowdy and pleased to announce their gang affiliations, and poor respect for women. They used the term Bitch and Hoe loosely and referred to the behaviors of girls unacceptable; but condoned such acts of misconduct when there were the recipients thereof.

Again stating that, “I Get it How I live.” The girls sadly agreed, but couldn’t knock the next person for what they participated in for the simple fact that to each his or her own. Another statement that suggests freedom of choice, but clearly leaves room for ridicule.

After our long chat which included the gentlemen, I asked them to leave and we had a girl session to clarify the matter. The girls were really eager to lay into the boys for their rudeness, but didn’t give any further clarification to the phrase at hand. Some of the girls said that it’s just some stupid phrase they heard a rap artist say so like many trends others followed.

Again an old saying comes to mind, “If so and so jumped off of a bridge, would you?” Of course not is always the answer, yet and still we choose to follow the crowd. Some of the most ridiculous notions are made public and because someone with a little cash said it, we jump in the boat.

I will be one to tell you that I am quick to abandon ship, if the boat even looks like it may have a crack in it. You should always come prepared with your own life raft.

So, as the discussion progressed, I decided to break down the statement and perhaps change the focal point of its meaning. We were going to continue to, “Get it how we lived!” Though we were going to positively reinforce the nature of what we were getting.

We would still get money, but by way of jobs and education. We would also seek popularity, but by way of healthy character building, and social clubs that benefit affirmative outcomes.

I had to put a stop to the “Get it how I live,” mess. They were simply running around like chickens with their heads cut off, babbling such madness. As the Butler family says, “Not all money is good money, folks.” We as adults need to be reminded of that just as much as these teens do, when confronted with get rich quick schemes and the like.

Parents we much teach our kids about the dangers of in this world, while we school them on matters of the streets and how to avoid getting caught in between, we need to encourage positive reinforcement. Teach them about the importance of education and stability. Lecture them on the true meanings of these slurs slang language they hear, before they repeat it.

I can appreciate the term, “I get it how I live.” It was simply the way they were accumulating these items that scared me. Also the fact that it didn’t mean the same thing across both genders, not equally for that matter. You could acquire materials, in any such way, but you could also be looked down upon by ways in which you chose to participate, depending on your gender.
　

Under Lock and Key!

I can still feel the snap of my arm being jerked outward in my attempt to flee his wrath. Id raise my right arm to shield myself from the blow. Catching my arm in mid air he ensured me that everything was ok. He wasn't angry.


I came from under a my ball of defense and relaxed my strained muscles only to catch the full blow of his furry. My head jerked back and hit the stone fireplace. The shock of the beating numbed the pain. It wasn't until he said he was sorry that my bones began to ache.
During the hours we had company in my dorm apartment he would make a point to show how obedient I was.

To make a point of ownership he would dare others to look at me. If he caught site of such betrayal and possible lust after what he proclaimed to own. He would beat the man senseless, then pull a knife to my throat. The same question was always asked. “Do you think I should kill him?” I would suggest that he be exiled from the group, a small act of courage to protect him from this demons wrath. God knows my time was near. I too, had plans of making an escape.


He didn't take so kindly of my suggestion. He figured I was looking to save my undercover lover. He gave him a small window to either jump from or be thrown out of. He jumped. I lived on the second floor, high enough to break a few bones if someone was literally trying to kill you. To jump was his best bet.

Unfortunately. my hour of terror had just begun. He continued his speech to his fellow constituents that cringed with fear but dare not shut their eyes to visual presentations. As their eyes watered afraid to blink the tears threatened to cause attention to possible weakness. As he trailed the knife from under my eye down the outline of my face the men took the chance to wipe their faces and adjust their game faces.

I was stiff as a board and late answering his repeated question. "Are you afraid of me?" I said no. The answer he so loved to hear. If I were scared I wouldn't give him the satisfaction in knowing. I fought back tears as he forced the point of the knife into my cheek.

"Good!" He replied. Because to kill you would then be justified.

I never understood how killing someone would unless in self defense, my plan, but I believe that his meaning to justification was in reference to his conscience.

My eyes lowered and shifted view to his followers. For the life of me I couldn't understand why none of them had taken the opportunity to win back their freedom. Id given plenty of time and opportunity. Motive floated in the air like a cloud of smoke from an un contained fire. Desire caused sweat to bead upon their brows and wet their palms.

“Cowards I screamed,” from my delirious mind. My arms and legs were kicking and flinging as hard and fast as they could in my conscience. I burned them with my stares. Some looked away. Others dare not show signs of emotion or disagreement to his performance, for fear they too would be asked to leave. Departure without being formally excused as a group could be fatal. If I had the chance I pull the gun from the hip of one of these sensitive assholes and kill him myself.

Boys claiming to be men holstering guns they are afraid to use, but jump up and down in an attempt to prove themselves to yet another man. A man with whom is just as afraid as they are. I was under his wrath, under lock and key.

Kiss and Tell Excerpt From My Nemesis

Joy felt incredibly dizzy just moments after taking the pills Dr. Zimmerman had given her. She decided to cancel dinner with her in laws. She’d just rather curl up in bed and watch the, “House,” marathon.
Dr. House was just one of her television boyfriends. His nonchalant attitude and 5 0’clock shadow, were his two most sexiest traits. Joy had always had a tender spot for bad guys. She was infatuated with thugs and rogues. They were a true challenge. She vowed to make those that fell prey to her trap, a gentleman yet.
Jake however, stepped to the challenge. He was cocky and ill mannered. Yet soft and sensitive in his own way. His charm and bad boy sense of sensibility confused Joy. She’d met her match. Love came easy. She finally felt as if she could let her guard down.
Joy dazed and out of touch with reality stumbled into the bathroom. She turned the stainless steel knobs on her sink, until the water was an even flow. The cold water was sure to wake her from her confused state, she thought. Splashing her face with the cool fluid she arose from under a waterfall of relief and peered into her vanity mirror. The lights were gold, which provided a lovely glow to accentuate her natural beauty. Joy tried to focus her eyes as the water dripped from her eyelashes. Blinking hard and wiping her eyes gently she looked into the mirrors reflection.
Her face appeared to be distorted, like an abstract painting. Her face was split into two parts both filled with unpleasant emotion. Wiping the mirror in an attempt to clear her vision, she found no change in her reflection.
Joy became frantic as she started rubbing her face. She memorized the height of her cheekbone, the shape of her eyes, and the fullness of her lips. Peering back into the mirror, her reflection had changed. The mirror reflected her true consonance. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying. Spiraling curls escaped from her sloppy bun, tickling her eyes and the nap of her neck. Joy shook her head as she gripped the sink, trying desperately to hold herself up. She was suddenly filled with exhaustion. She dried her face gently with her hand towel and retreated from the bathroom. She made sure to turn out the lights behind her.
“Wow the doctor was right. These are some strong meds, I better lay down.”
As Joy threw back the covers to her king size bed, she jumped into the fluff of her feathery pillows, her door bell rang. “Oh go away.” Joy begged with a whining tone, hoping that if she were quiet her uninvited guest would go away. Again the door bell rang, three quick alarming chimes. Joy kicked wildly at her covers and flung her robe closed. She jumped out of bed and stomped down the hall towards the living room. It was 10 after 9.
“Alright, Alright, hold your damn horses.”
“It’s me Charles, open up.”
“Charles?” Joy whispered to herself. Oh my God, it must be something wrong with Sam. Joy ran and unlocked her well bolted door.
“Charles is everything alright?’
“Yes, Yes. I didn’t mean to startle you.” Charles grabbed Joy by her shoulders and stepped inside the door. Then what’s wrong?” Joy’s forehead wrinkled as she closed and locked the door, behind them.
Charles sat down on the couch, and put his head in his hands. “I just…I was just working late….just over the bridge…a client Jake and I were working with on a special project. The dude called to inform Jake that, he had been awarded the grant,” Charles bit his lip and shock his head. “Hum, funny thing. I couldn’t believe it. I was so excited, I grabbed for my cell and dialed his number. It had gone straight to voice mail before I had realized Jake was gone.” Charles began to sob like a baby. He fell back into the cushions of Joy’s couch to take refuge. Joy was both stunned and filled with a strong desire to console him. Her loneliness overwhelmed her.
“I didn’t even know he was working on a grant.” Joy rubbed her sweat beading hands on the front of her robe. She was surprised and oddly nervous.
“Yes it was a surprise. He kept it a secret because he didn’t want to jinx it by getting too excited. You know how superstitious he could be.”
“Yea I do. Too superstitious if you ask me. It often got into the way of his faith in himself and others.”
Charles turned to Joy, with a sudden interest to converse about their lost loved one. “ It was just hard for us growing up is all. Belief in the supernatural was unheard of. Down South it was God and Church. First and foremost we learned the ways of the land. Home remedy’s, old sayings, and superstition. We held on to every word big mama and the rest of our elders spoke. “
“Yea I know he was always quoting something from the Anderson handbook of life. He ruled it to be just as valuable as the bible.” Joy laughed from deep in her gut. It felt good and scary at the same time. She stopped abruptly as the guilt surrounded her and spun her back to reality.
Charles noticed her discomfort and searched his mind for something to say to clear the redness from Joy’s chest.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t meant to be disrespectful.”
“No. Its quite alright.” Joy smiled nervously, as her hands began to shake. “So what now? The grant I mean. Is there any way I can finish the project with you, in his absence of course?” Joy’s voice trailed off as she headed for the kitchen. “Drink?” Joy called over her shoulder.
“What? Oh yes, please! I could use a nice stiff one right about now.” Charles stood quickly and wiped his sweat beading hands on the lap of his slacks. He loosened his tie and unbuttoned his collar, on his way to the kitchen.
“The fund is entirely up to you, Joy.” Charles uttered as he claimed his seat at the bar.
“What do you mean?” Joy looked up from her alcoholic concoction for clarity.
“The money is yours. That is the reason for my visit. I came to give you the check. Its for a million dollars,” Charles nervously handed Joy the check. He was kicking himself for handing such a large amount of money over to someone, who had no idea it existed. “The money’s yours.” Charles didn’t realize he was still gripping onto the check. He had to repeat the fact that it didn’t belong to him, in order to understand.
Joys eyes widened with both surprise and disbelief. “Wow! I had no idea.”
“He was working on some government grants for your literary program.”
Joys eyes began to well with tears. She could no longer see Charles in full view. Her mind raced.
“Joy let me help. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.”
Joy was shaking so hard the drink no longer needed to be blended. She had shaken her toxic blend just perfectly.
Charles reached for Joys arm carefully, as he took his position behind her. He carefully removed the glass from her shaking hands and gently placed it on the counter. Charles couldn’t help but smell the aroma of Vanilla and Shea Butter enticing him. He leaned forward into Joys soft natural curls, to cure his temptations. Lingering for too long he quickly retreated pulling his head back.
Joy was still in shock from the news. She hadn’t noticed Charles slight slip in judgment. She couldn’t be sure she was strong enough to ward off his in advances, if in fact there were any. Charles cleared his throat, as he placed his hands gently on Joys forearms. He still stood behind Joy rather close; and as much as he knew his love was rising he couldn’t find the strength to pull away. When Joy didn’t respond Charles squeezed her shoulders softly, in an attempt to massage the tension and stress from her back.
“Joy can you hear me?”
Joy leaned her head back, as he felt the stress disseminating from her brow. She was overcome with comfort and relaxation. Charles noticed, wanting desperately to see her facial expression, he trailed his fingers seductively along the length of her neck. He removed the curls from his view. Joys mind drifted reminiscing about Jake, warmed her soul. She felt so calm as Jakes arms wrapped around her. Closing her eyes she let nature take its course. Leaning against Jake, Charles welcomed her advances. He and Sam hadn’t been sexually active in well over a month.
Joy’s resemblance to her sister shocked both Jake and Charles when they first met. They got more than they bargained for. The two of them were so head strong and stubborn as could be. A trait both Jake and Charles couldn’t resist. They enjoyed the challenge. With the two sisters sharing the same genetic make-up, he was confused at how different the two of them were.

　

****

Joy shed her robe without being coached as she started to get into the motion of things. Charles didn't take his time, his lust for Joy took control of his senses. Grabbing Joy around her slim waist he turned her quickly. He couldn't wait another moment to kiss her sweet lips. Taking control, as Joy spun into his arms he pulled her close and kissed her hungrily. Her lips were soft and melted between his own. She became like a drug to him hard to resist and illegal. He knew of his betrayal and couldn't blame Joy, for he knew she was vulnerable.
Joy felt Jakes strong hands caressing the small of her back, as she kissed him passionately. She moaned and relaxed in his arms. She drifted into a daze of hypnosis that she couldn't shake.
“Jake,” she moaned as Charles lifted her from her feet, and placed her on the kitchen counter. The cool granite singed, as her hot center warmed its surface. She begged for Jake to heal her burning desire. She yearned for his touch and longed to feel him inside her.
Charles now past point of mere arousal ignored Joy’s obvious confusion and unbuckled his pants. He was having difficulty with the button on his slacks, so he ripped them open. Joy flew from under her night gown. Her eyes were closed as Charles kissed her neck and moved down to her chest.
Again joy called out to Jake now loud and clear as she was excited by his lustful foreplay. She had, had enough and was ready to receive him. Charles now fully aware of indiscretion paused and pulled back from Joy as if startled.
“Joy, Oh My God,” Charles spoke as if stunned he were in Joys apartment. Joy looked dazed and confused as her medication was now in full effect.
“Jake what's wrong?” She responded as she noticed the look of hurt and deceit on his face. Charles could hardly muster a sound as he tried to clear his throat. He busied himself trying to fasten his pants and locate Joys night gown.
“I'm sorry Joy. I'm really sorry. Joys eyes began to redden and fill with tears.
“Jake, why are you doing this? What have I done wrong?”
Charles looked up from his solemn embarrassment and noticed the hurt and pain on Joys face. Suddenly it dawned on him that Joy truly believed that he were Jake. Charles decided to play along, hoping that Joy would awake from her moment of psychotic break with no memory of his advances upon her.
“Its nothing, Joy.” Charles responded hoping that his choice to follow along wouldn't come back to bite him on the ass. Hopefully her and Sam wouldn't speak of her romantic encounter with her dead husband Jake. Sam would be sure to get to the bottom of Joys rendezvous, with her alleged mysterious man.
“I just have to get back to work is all. You know! The project I'm working on. We have some loose ends to tie. After that I'm all yours sweetheart.”
“Okay I understand.” Joy sniffed as she slowly put her clothing back on. “Do you want me to make you something to eat before you go.”
“No thanks babe its late. You should get some rest you have a job of your own to get to.” Charles hurried towards the door to free himself from guilt. He didn’t bother to look back at Joy. He couldn’t bear to see the look of confusion on her face. The only thing he could do now was hurry home, to Sam and the kids. He nearly cheated on her with her own sister. He felt like a crumb. How could he stoop so low?” He felt even worse about the money. Joy didn’t even know about the fund. The things he could have done with that amount of cash would have been tremendous. She had no use for the money. Her business was going well. Especially now since she had no responsibility’s or children to feed. Part of Charles ached for the lose of his close friend and blood. The other he envied. In death Jake was still the best thing since sliced bread. Just how long will he and Sam have to chase their dreams. Sam had spent so much time trying to live up to Joy’s expectations, she could never concentrate on her own affairs. At least that is the way Charles saw it. She could never do no wrong. He was the breadwinner. The frustration of it all had seemed to be tearing him up the last few years. He’d grown tired of his job and even more so tired of brushing the troubles of his marriage under the rug.
Charles knew that he was in trouble but he knew he couldn’t just out right go to Joy for help. However in her current state of mind, approaching her now would be his best bet.
　
　
　
　

Sliding By... An Excerpt from the Purse Club

Why are we always looking for loop holes to get over on others or short change our responsibilities? Take care of your financial responsibilities right away. Especially if your purse can afford to. Try not to procrastinate and push them back. Its hard to catch up. Your boat will start to sink. You are sure to drown, if you continue to throw your life jackets in to the river.

Those of you finding it hard to follow listen. You must tend to your homes. If you are allowed a chance to slip through the cracks once you may not get another. Use your life jackets sparingly because if you don’t. You will find it exceptionally hard to pull your head above water, or make it back to shore.