CHAP. 6 SNIPET: Into The Light
AUTHOR: Aija M. Butler
Joy stepped into her bathroom and starred into the dark. Her first thought was to call on God. She wanted him to show himself and explain his actions. She couldn't she how they were justified. She walked slowly to the tubs edge and looked into the deep oval ceramic surface and sat on its edge.
The room seemed to expand as if the walls were no longer there. All she could see was a bright light, that appeared from just beyond the tub. A calming glow that moved her to sway softly, as the luminosity calmed her soul. Tuning into her consciousness she turned on the water to the tub. The golden handles with pearl tips seemed to reflect small sparkles of gold onto the water, as it filled the bathtub. The room was well lit by the golden highlights. Joy watched the waters flow as if hypnotized by the clear crystals falling from its spout.
As the water surfaced towards the tubs edge, she could visibly see the steam hovering over its top. She could feel the soft warmth of the clouded steam, and in it she calmed her weeping heart. She felt a great sense of peace.
Though the chill of the bathroom flowed from her feet against the tile floor, she was warmed by the presence of something or someone. Curious with the urge to feel the closeness of her husbands spirit, she called out to him. Joy prayed that her lack paranormal belief would not hinder her possibility of experience. She quieted her self and looked into the empty space filled with light and steam from her hot bath. In it he stood quietly. She was fearful at first, at this presumed presence of someone that had passed on. She nearly fell from the tub. She would have easily hit her head and knocked unconscious.
Joy held on to her chest frightfully aware of her close walk with death and inhaled slowly. Grabbing on the flesh of her chest she grabbed both the garment of her oversized shirt, and the thin tissue between her breast purposely to test her conscious awareness. Pain was definite and her eyes were focused even in the dark of the night. Slowly releasing her shirt, she placed her hands toward the illuminating light in an attempt to touch just the hem of his garment. Unable to feel the cloth she retreated and shook her head solemnly, then violently, as she realized her disbelief caused her to loose touch.
Just in that moment the peace that had culminated her mind, body, and spirit dissipated. She was tired and worn. Her back slumped over and depression quickly settled. Moving from the tubs edge she turned her back towards the door and the light was gone. She slowly crumbled to the floor and fell into a tantrum of unexplained volatile convulsions, as she cried for mercy and understanding.
“Dear God, Why has Thou Forsaken me. Why must I stay to die alone in the hellish ways of this world.? What am I do to do with this life, now that all that I have loved and cherished has perished?”
“You live..”
Joy peered from between the small cracks in her hands. Slowly she uncovered her face. She could have sworn to have heard Jakes voice, but nothing was there.
“Hello!” she called out. Making sure that her mind was in fact playing tricks on her. She was even fearful that the voice would again answer her. She too thought that she may be loosing her sanity. Things that were happening were not of this world. She couldn't explain her thoughts or actions. Her mind raced and the outbreaks of sudden amnesia puzzled not only her, but her family.
“I'm here,” the voice interrupted.
Joys this time she was afraid to speak aloud. “What do you want?” she asked as if she wanted to know the answer.
“I want you to live,” was his only response.
Joys eyes widened with surprise but the voices request only seemed to add fuel to the fire burning within Joys chest. She was angry. She wanted an explanation.
“What for?” she screamed.
“What for…?” Again she called at the empty space just beyond her tub and demand an answer. “How dare you leave?” she yelled begging for his return.
Still, the water drifted amongst the soft winds, that crept in from the bathroom window. Soft drips of water hit the pool before her, but nothing more. Not even a whisper of apology and farewell came from the golden light, that had lit her bathroom just moments before.
Joys mind seemed to burst her brain was scrambled. She had bits and pieces of reality playing in her mind. She wasn't delusional as she was before. She was psychotic. She screamed at the top of her lungs beckoning Leleil to show her face.
She tore down the towel rack and slammed her fists on the sink, and jolted open the medicine cabinet in search for relief. When she couldn't find the pills she stopped suddenly as if her breakdown were calming and just starred down into the drain of the sink, The small metal circle lit up brightly and reflected a small razor that had fallen from the shelf of the medicine cabinet. In that moment Joy felt relief. She felt as her answer had arrived. That if only she could die, she could live passing on the horrors of this life to be resurrected anew. Born into a new place and time a chance to start over.
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